I am rooting for you. I wish you the best.
Recently, I came across this quote “A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle,” and it really made an impact. I believe it needs to be shared more often. With the negative energy created by jealousy and social media in the world, this quote really hits the nail on the head. I find it very frustrating how rare it is to find a female, or anyone really, who is not jealous of someone else. I grew up learning that girls want what other girls have. There is few occasions of pure happiness for another individual. During my teenage years, I witnessed this first hand after girls said I looked fine, when I had lettuce in my teeth or I was missing hair in my ponytail. I witnessed this after pictures got “deleted” because a girl thought I looked good in the pictures and did not want me to have it. I realized this after finding success, and losing friendships and receiving hate comments on social media. I also realized how I could see pictures of girls having fun on a Saturday night, while I sat home alone. I realized how easy it is to become jealous on social media. I realized how sad this dark world can be, and it hurt.
After going through a dark, rough time in my life, I was finally starting to feel better. I regained confidence. I was not calorie counting anymore, my hair was fuller, my nails longer, and my smile brighter. I was successful in terms of a great resume, a positive outlook for the future, and a healthy relationship. This did not sit well with my social media followers, who had no idea what I had been through. The hate came in strong with comments regarding my body, my hair, my overall appearance, my beliefs both political and religious, and my lifestyle. Honestly, it did hurt. I was shocked that someone could have this much built up anger about me, but still hide behind an anonymous account. I will probably never find out who that hater was, but I can only hope they can learn to stop being so insecure. I realized how jealousy can cause this rage they felt and how I should not let these words affect my life. I am in a better place now, and I am grateful for that.
Enough about me…After more and more people watching, I witnessed the jealousy from afar as well. I grew up with this quote, “Would your 8 year old self be proud?” This quote can truly help with decision-making throughout life. Sometimes, we need to remember that adorable little kid who sees his/her older self as being a superhero. We need to remember that how we treat others says a lot about ourselves and how we should internally strive to be better. We should focus on how we can be successful as individuals instead of comparing ourselves to others.
We are all different for a reason, and I believe that once we accept this, life seems to flow a lot easier. After struggling with body image, I realized that I am built the way I am for many reasons. I have a more athletic build because I grew up a competitive gymnast and cheerleader. I am not meant to be as thin as the models I see on instagram or as thin as some of my peers. There is a reason for this though- I also would have never been able to do the cool tricks I did! Now, I really enjoy hitting the gym as a stress reliever and will continue to have an athletic build. I will never be 6 feet tall and I will never be a Victorias Secret model, but I have learned to love my little buff frame. I also learned to admire from afar- rather than calling the bodies of these girls on instagram “goals”, I refer to their lifestyle as “goals” because I hope to one day be able to travel the world too.
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it, it just blooms!”
We are all insecure about certain parts of our bodies, and I guarantee that what you may be insecure about someone else wishes they had! Maybe you do not have blue eyes, but someone out there wishes they had your amazing vision. Maybe you do not have a “thigh gap” but someone out there wants muscular legs like yours! Remember, we are given one body. Let’s love our bodies and not put them down. They did not do anything wrong.
You are healthy, happy, and free, and that is the ultimate blessing. Remember that.
I am rooting for you. I wish you the best.
Becsea 